i am literally cleaning the dust off the walls in my house. it's horrifying. how does so much dust accummulate? where does it come from? how much of it am i breathing? who invented swiffer?
friends come to our house and comment upon how clean it is and how nice it must be to not have kids messing it up (no comment). on the clean part, i'm glad that my friends think my house is clean, but i know better. i can hide dirt, or, not recognize it, not disallow awareness of it as well as anyone can, despite my intentions (clean minimalism). i think it's about procrastination (isn't everything?).
and then i think of x-ray spex' fabulous track "germ-free adolescents,"which parodies our obssessions over cleanliness. and that's nice, but i'm still freaking out. so now, in addition to making this little film and writing my book and trying to finish Massumi and begin Chion (Murch's foreword is so good that i keep circling about and have not yet gotten to Chion, except by way of Pisters).
there is maybe a trace of "white page" mythos enabling this procrastination's stubborn stance in the midst of all this dust; it refuses to exit until this dust is gone. maybe it's telling me something about my priorities that i, a.) need to learn, or b.) need to ignore as mythic bullshit, or c.) i'm getting it all wrong. it's not about waiting for to clear the dust; it's about letting the dust settle and moving ahead (working around) regardless of it. and that sounds really groovy. but it does-not-feel-right.