Thursday, May 31, 2007


i am literally cleaning the dust off the walls in my house. it's horrifying. how does so much dust accummulate? where does it come from? how much of it am i breathing? who invented swiffer?

friends come to our house and comment upon how clean it is and how nice it must be to not have kids messing it up (no comment). on the clean part, i'm glad that my friends think my house is clean, but i know better. i can hide dirt, or, not recognize it, not disallow awareness of it as well as anyone can, despite my intentions (clean minimalism). i think it's about procrastination (isn't everything?).

and then i think of x-ray spex' fabulous track "germ-free adolescents,"which parodies our obssessions over cleanliness. and that's nice, but i'm still freaking out. so now, in addition to making this little film and writing my book and trying to finish Massumi and begin Chion (Murch's foreword is so good that i keep circling about and have not yet gotten to Chion, except by way of Pisters).

there is maybe a trace of "white page" mythos enabling this procrastination's stubborn stance in the midst of all this dust; it refuses to exit until this dust is gone. maybe it's telling me something about my priorities that i, a.) need to learn, or b.) need to ignore as mythic bullshit, or c.) i'm getting it all wrong. it's not about waiting for to clear the dust; it's about letting the dust settle and moving ahead (working around) regardless of it. and that sounds really groovy. but it does-not-feel-right.


Anonymous said...

I once attended a talk by Patricia Pisters. The room was filled with Deleuzians. When I asked Pisters my question at the end of the talk, she asked (almost accusingly): 'Are you a Zizekian?' and the whole room turned to look at me. So I guess I was outed by Pisters.

I live in a studio apartment, with only one armchair and a partner who lives at the other end of the country. The dust provides me with company...

bdegenaro said...

That x-ray spex record is one of my favorites. Amazing how many of the tracks seem to reference our own favorite is "the day the world turned dayglo." Can't believe those songs are 30 yrs old.

bonnie lenore kyburz said...

i haven't read enough Zizek to say. i am drawn to Deleuze although i admit to being WAY behind the curve and am mostly reading toward him via Pisters and others. so i've got some reading to do (but for now, Chion is most useful for what i do as a filmmaker trying to think about film/rhetoric/art). as for Zizek, same story. i keep wondering how other people find the time when i've got all this dust to clean!

you create a lovely image, however, of a dusty comfort ;)

thanks for writing.

bonnie lenore kyburz said...

dayglo is indeed fabulous. i'm stuck in time ;)

i was thrown out of college (UF) in the early 80's. i didn't so much go to class but was big into our little punk/new-wave scene, was in a few bands, had band friends (notably, Roach Motel -- see them on myspace). our house was a local hot spot for parties in the scene (referred to as the House of Death, it did eventually burn to the ground). back then, i saw a lot of good bands i can't remember and a lot that were big or just emerging. let's start a list; add on. i saw (at the time, thinking that they were very cool. some were. some, in hindsight, weren't). in no particular order:

Talking Heads
Psyschedelic Furs
Iggy Pop
Tom Tom Club
Dead Boys (w/ Stiv Bators)
Bad Brains
Devo (tiny little club)
Minor Threat (even tinier club)
Black Flag
Dead Kennedys
U2 (on overturned tables turned makeshift stage in the rathsekllar; they played the same, from "boy," twice)
10,000 Maniacs (where, at a party, Natalie sat under the staircase, alone, almost the whole time)
Nick Lowe
Billy Idol
Flock of Seagulls

others i can't remember.

bonnie lenore kyburz said...

of course, that's RAMONES.

bonnie lenore kyburz said...

i'm sad that i said "hot spot." considering that, and, looking at the Roach Motel web space and seeing so many punk friends still at it, i feel old.

stand up straight & let me get a look at you

It's awards show Sunday, so i'm giving Margot. I'm through with the wishfulness and angst and regret, and Margot, more than an...