i'm now working on editing 3 different films for display in valid academic venues (NCTE Convention; Kairos). i feel . . . i can't find the language for this . . . suffice it to say that despite my disputes w/ life in Utah, living here has at least given me the motivation to do what i want to do as a "creative artist" (i want to own that but feel i must still put it in scare quotes) and as a rhetorician. i mean, somehow, it happened here. maybe "this" really "is the place" (Brigham Young), or, well, it has been the place (we'll see).
there is a ghostly vibe associated with moments like this, when you realize that you are doing what you (have always) want(ed) to be doing. a private little buzz vibrates with pleasure . . . just hovers above the surface of your skin. angry at a colleague? gone. someone ignoring you? who cares? feeling a little less than ideally energetic? w-h-a-t-e-v-e-r . . .