i'd hoped to be in a position to develop the book as part of the conditions of my employment, in a specific "set up" (i like David Lynch's quite a lot). i keep attempting to create a dreamy set up at home, but complicating this possibility is that my husband is an adjunct with a heavy teaching load, and so i end up inevitably sharing my office spaces with him, and this means piles and stacks and mess. it drives me insane, but he loves the gig, and i try to be supportive. it's complicated. and it's a problem we have not resolved. and it's real-life. every day. a conflict. an obstacle. surely to be overcome, but there it is.
yes so but the physical, temporo-spatial conditions of work. i'm writing this as i reflect upon The 3rd Annual Arakawa and Gins Online Conference my friend Martin E. Rosenberg pointed me toward, and i suppose the experience of thinking more critically about life and space has me extra sensitized to my existing awareness of The Situation. i contemplate the purchase of a backyard office pod, but at this time i cannot afford it (plus, it's so beautiful; i'd want to keep it indoors). contemplating it is magical, to say the least, and i see my ideal set up in the same sparkling minimalist light.
oh, and all of this is happening ... all of this excuse-making (i realize it. fully aware.) in the context of my mid-life contemplation about just
what.
i.
am.
doing.
so there's that.
i hope to make more progress in the coming months, in and among other projects (my most recent film, Status Update, for which i will aggregate all my ramblings at my-formerly-designated-film-blog-which-is-badly-in-need-of-resuscitation, maybe). i'm hopeful about this progress and have begun to map some of the book's relations in prezi, a supernatural tool for conceptualizing a conceptual ecology. you are happy to learn that i am also moving the book along via upcoming publication of a webtext that represents the early chapters and central concepts (and let me just say "thank you" to the editors for their patience and encouragement).
and now that i have embraced these truths, i await the emergence of a Joe Simpson-type zone experience that moves me, segment by achingly slow and hope-alive-keeping segment, along.
so but if you've been wondering about the book's progress (mon dieu!), these are among my reasons. i own and embrace them as excuses, and hope to use this recognition as a means of transcending them, of seeing them for what they are so that i may in zencoolnessmode simply move on, whatever this may mean, precisely.
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