did you just say?

i may be posting less frequently -- or lucidly -- over the next few days (maybe up to 2 weeks). i have been working to figure out what's been wrong w/ me (since at least March) for a while now. some docs said "allergies." others said "acid reflux." finally, my gastroenterologist (who resembles in his manner a bigger, buffer Owen Wilson; he wears cowboy boots and has a great way about him) ordered a s***l sample (nice). when he told me he wanted one, he asked, "you game?", which i thought was really funny. and i told him that, yes, i thought i could cowgirl up.

so they found that i have this hideous h. pylori bacteria. merde. i mean, come on. supposedly, it's something most often found in people who live in developing countries. says it comes from . . . oh never mind . . . suffice it to say that i feel sort of dirty and embarrassed (but not enough to stop me from writing about it. freak). Meanwhile, over at Wind Farm, Chris is sharing images of his buff and superfit bod. Iwas just there, and the contrasts to what you find here are, well, interesting, f/w/th're/w.

but so i guess it's good that they found it and can cure it, but they tell me that the treatment of *serious* antibiotics and proton pump inhibitors will make me "sicker than a dog" (the nurse's exact and terrifically comforting words). said "you have to get worse to get better." so there's that.

i'm hoping to have plenty of lucid moments for working on my book, an article revision, 2 grant proposals, my manifesto submission for Kairos (a version of "remove to dispense," which i screened at PSU), teaching and grading (i have warned my students that i may be loopier than usual) . . . and i hope to get all better soon because i want to be healthy (relatively) as i head into my surgery on August 8th.

actually, i'm remarkably happy to have a diagnosis after all this sick feeling unwellness and generally tired and cranky being.

but so, look here for posts from a girl who may be a little silly in the next few days.